When my husband and I were living in the USA for about a year, we used to take long walks on the beach and talk about what we wanted out of life.
I wanted to start my own business using the things I loved: computers, photography and multimedia and make an impact on people’s lives through that. My hubby wanted to support me in that and develop his career in a whole different direction to what it is today. “Church” wise we wanted to get more involved in church media. Its funny how much we have changed!
We met some homeschoolers at a big church picnic in the park and thought that the concept of homeschooling was totally weird! We met some special families who encouraged us to have many children as they were such a blessing! “Hmmm,”, we thought, “maybe one day”.
Our Farewell Party (My goodness – we look strange!)
We came back from the USA in 2001 and carried out our new plans to a T. We bought a house, set up my multimedia business and hired some friends to work with me. We got involved in church media. It was wonderful – and I loved being able to work with great people and make multimedia to impact people’s emotions (and hopefully their lives).
Though life was busy and full and felt good; some things felt really out of place. I spent the whole day running operations and never had the time or space to do the actual multimedia – so that had to happen after hours. My husband was terribly patient and supportive but I didn’t have much time to spend with him.
I also found that the competitive drive that you need to make a business work, I just didn’t have! I really didn’t care much about the rich executives from “insert company name here” who wanted to impress their head office with fancy multimedia. The whole business world felt so empty to me. I cared about the NGO’s that we did work for as they really were a blessing to others but most of the work felt empty and purposeless. I realised that the things I had dreamed about and wanted for so long were leaving me empty and were taking me away from my wonderful husband. I wasn’t able to help him at all – he was so busy helping me!
Everything felt upside down. I wasn’t making an impact where it counted! There wasn’t much that was of eternal value that I was spending my time on. God was working in me – he had to shout rather loudly for quite a long time before I started to even be aware of His voice. Eventually I realised that this wasn’t how He wanted our lives to be.
We had built up so much and it was hard to know how to begin to break it down – and how to change. My hubby and I made the decision together to close my business and get ready to have children as I knew there was no way I could do both. (The friend who worked with me the longest is also now a stay-at-home Mom.)
Those months were filled with such incredible peace! I knew we had made the right decision and that I had listened to God’s voice in my heart. I fell pregnant a few months after that and we were so overjoyed! I wanted this little child so much!! Most of our friends already had children – but we had been more interested in “other” things in life – now we were so excited.
I don’t think I had ever seen a baby under 3 months old and certainly didn’t have much idea what to do with one but I knew I was following God’s direction in my life and that He would show me. I used to have such a fear of childbirth and of everything surrounding it – I really hate hospitals and hated the way that pregnant women seem to be treated like sick patients. I also hated how everyone said how awful childbirth was and that the only good thing they could find to say was that “you forget!” Not much comfort in that! I asked God to give me a testimony that would be a blessing to expecting Moms and an encouragement to girls looking to have children later.
In the year preceding the pregnancy I had read and researched and learnt lots and I spent many months preparing my body for childbirth. Our little girl was born at home 3 weeks early (or so we thought – we still didn’t have the whole date thing properly figured out!) and God so answered my prayer for a positive testimony. My main memories are walking around the house peacefully listening to some worship music at about 2am and resting through each contraction. My hubby was asleep and the midwife slept in the spare room. I woke them a bit later 🙂 The birth was HARD WORK but I wasn’t out of control and I wasn’t overwhelmed. I could cope! Our natural endorphins really do help so much! My husband was a wonderful support to me. My very first thought when my little girl was born was literally “oh my word – a real baby!” Then – “what beautiful tiny fingernails”. How blessed we were! I also remember my hubby and I sitting on our bed with this incredible new baby in my arms; eating fruit salad that the midwife had made for us.
God has added four blessings to our family and we hope he will keep adding more. I’d much rather spend my nights feeding a precious little one than doing multimedia 🙂
We wasted seven years and all those years on the pill mean that I don’t fall pregnant easily. But God knows and we trust Him!
I now spend my days enjoying and serving our little family and running our little homeschool and loving it!
Its hard work, there are times every day when I wonder if I am doing it “right” or “doing enough” or “giving them what they need” but I know that God has led us each step of the way and that if we continue to faithfully pray for our children he will direct our paths. I love spending my days on what is of eternal value!
We love learning to know God together and my husband teaches our children from the Bible – we love to see how keen they are to learn. We are now learning what “church” things we should really be involved in – being a blessing to the body of Christ in whatever way He calls us to. That is something that doesn’t come easily to me – its so much easier to hide behind the camera or the computer screen and call it ministry – but I am learning. I am also learning to be my husband’s helper rather than the other way around. It is such a rich fulfilling role that God has for us and I can see my husband loving it! I so want our children to learn God’s way!
I am so glad that God is so patient with us and never gives up on us and I am so blessed with the life He has led us to!
“Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou [art] the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day. ” Psalm 25v5